Are you ready for an "AI" Christmas?

Are you ready for an "AI" Christmas?

Published by Francis Elms on 18th Dec 2023

"AI" is definitely here!  

The images for this blog were generated by the AI program within the website photo/banner making operation. The wording used in describing what's wanted is very important. Get it wrong and you can end up with a Santa with horns for hands, or the gift-filled sleigh being pulled backwards by strangely deformed reindeer. If you need more than two reindeer pulling the sleigh, think again. The program doesn't recognise how to do it. A flying sleigh? No way. It's "AI", and, at the time of writing, it's simply weird!

Just imagine a very low-grade version of the original Matrix film. This is where we're at right now, but give it a few years to develop and you really won't be able to tell "AI" generated, artificial reality from the genuine article. Would you be happy to experience your entire Christmas celebration (including food & drink) when none of it was actually real?

A horror story in the making, I think. So, what might we expect in the future?

Looking on the bright side, if your desire is to spend Christmas in Lapland, without ever leaving home, AI will transform the environment and make your surroundings look like the real thing. A personal "Meet & Greet" with Santa? No problem. Any time, any day of the week. No booking required!

You could even be an elf for a day and help out in Santa's workshop, or, if you take the "premium" package, AI will enable you to actually be Santa Claus, himself. Tim Allen's 1994 comedy film, The Santa Claus, will come true for anyone wanting to don the red suit and grow a massive white beard. Why not?

Another "AI" generated image. Is this your idea of the perfect Christmas scene? Looks good enough to use as a Christmas card. Just add some text: Merry Christmas, or Season's Greetings, and you're done.

How about happy families sitting around the kitchen table with the full festive spread laid out in front of them? Don't forget the all-important wine from Frazier's. I think they're probably enjoying a glass of our medal-winning "Arbouse", Cotes du Rhone Villages. Warming, peppery spice and lots of fleshy, cherry, plum and blackberry fruit. Very similar in style to neighbouring Chateauneuf-du-Pape, but at a fraction of the price. A winning combination every Christmas. As there's complete freedom of choice to imagine yourself opening any bottle of wine (using AI), if a white wine's your favourite, try a beautiful, old vine Pouilly-Fuisse white Burgundy from Collovray Terrier. Combining rich brioche, stone fruits and white flowers, this is a wine that will beat many a Meursault costing twice as much but, as this is an AI experience, you can have both!

Perhaps you'd like to be whisked away to the southern hemisphere for some winter holiday sunshine? A barbecue on the famous Bondi beach in Sydney where Christmas is still Christmas even with the latest Ray-Ban on and the "Factor 50" sunscreen in place. Cold cuts of honey-glazed ham with potato, roast pumpkin and quinoa salad are consumed by many an Aussie at this time of year, washed down with copious quantities of beer, whilst soaking up the sun. For the wine drinkers, try swapping the ice-cold tinnies for a bottle of Grounded Cru Pinot Gris from the Adelaide Hills. Fresh citrus, pear, honeysuckle and spice will match with the sweeter notes of the ham. A Pinot Noir will be fantastic as a red alternative with cold-cuts, so why not try the new Paparuda from Cramele Recas in Romania? Dark, rich and potent, with layers of complex black cherry and raspberry fruit with cinnamon spice. Australia does make some stunning Pinot Noir, but the best from the Yarra Valley and Mornington Peninsula in Victoria are more likely to be in the £30-£50 range... and those are the "entry level" bottles!

If you're going to stick with the traditional BBQ ingredients with lots of flame-grilled, red meat burgers, sausages and the like, what could be better than pouring a few bottles of De Bortoli's juicy, spicy Accomplice Shiraz or peaches & cream Chardonnay for less than a tenner each? Where's my old surfboard? I can feel a big wave coming this way.

For an Australian Christmas dessert, it's got to be Pavlova. Load up the meringue with tropical fruits including banana, passionfruit, kiwifruit and starfruit and keep it zinging with a good splash of lime juice. For the wine, go for a low alcohol, bubbly Moscato d'Asti. So delicate, with flavours of citrus, honey and apricot. Drink it very well chilled. It's so refreshing, you'll probably finish the whole bottle.

For those who wish to party, but with absolutely no chance of a hangover, we're now listing Australia's McGuigan "Zero" range of non-alcoholic wines. Choose from Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, Shiraz or rosé.

Thankfully, it's likely to be a long time before the actual sensation of drinking and eating is replicated by artificial intelligence, although it would be great for dieting, or experiencing the best in fine dining. Watch out, you Michelin star chefs and sommeliers, Arnie will be back for you in the future... and not just because of a corked wine. He's coming for your job!

In case you were wondering, I wrote all of this blog myself. No essay writing "AI" used here, it's all my own work. You still need a few more creative ideas until the machines take over the world.

Merry Christmas and keep on shopping... while you still can.

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